Every Advent, mom would drag the yule log out of storage and place it on the kitchen table. She’d made the dusty birch centerpiece herself, complete with greenery and holes to anchor the Advent candles. Although I can no longer remember if we lit one or all the candles each week, the yule log is a core memory of my childhood.
Now, with my own family, I use an Advent wreath on my table (which I like better than the log). Each week, we light one new candle. Each night at dinner, we sing “He Came Down” (Evangelical Lutheran Worship 253). It’s a reminder that yule logs, Advent wreaths and Christmas trees announce the love of God, who longs to be near us.
I can’t remember the number of Christmas presents I received while growing up, but I do remember the traditions our family shared together. While some traditions seemed insignificant at the time, I now appreciate how those practices weave a tapestry of memorable lessons I can pass along to my children. Advent is a wonderful time for parents and caregivers to build traditions children will remember long after the gadgets under the tree have been cast away.
Caregivers (moms in particular) already face a lot of pressure to create holiday magic. Advertisers push us to buy everything from cookie dough to expensive toys to create “the best Christmas ever.” We’re expected to spend money, attend events and parties. We may even feel as though we should buy everyone—teachers, babysitters, letter carriers, dog walkers—gifts. Suddenly, Advent feels not contemplative and peaceful, but overwhelming and stressful.
In addition to all of this, we’re supposed to build meaningful, faithful, Advent traditions. We don’t need any more pressure this season, yet we— adults and children alike—do need meaning. What if, instead of carrying out complicated projects or going broke, we simply spent Advent focusing on connecting with God and each other?
One way to begin building or expanding our Advent traditions is to share holiday foods. A cherished recipe or tradition that has been passed down can connect us not only to each other, but to our ancestors. Why not try a recipe from your or your family’s heritage? Consider: saffron buns, candied yams, buñuelos, lefse, a Christmas cake, tamales or pierogi. A baking project can also help families to practice generosity. Cookies and other treats can be shared with people who are lonely, grieving or in need. Baking doesn’t even have to be complicated. Many stores sell pre-made cookie dough and pie crusts. Even a takeout meal can have meaning. Ordering sushi on Christmas Eve has become a favorite tradition for my children.
Lisa A. Smith, a writer and ELCA pastor, lives in Anchorage, Alaska, with her spouse and three children. Her blog “Bedtime Theology” is at pastorlisawrites.com.
This excerpted article appeared in the November/December 2024 issue of Gather. To read more like it, subscribe to Gather.