Friends don’t just magically appear. We make friends from among the strangers all around us. Since no two people are alike, no two people approach making friends the same way. Here are seven suggestions:
- Accept variations. Even Jesus, who we sing about in the hymn “What a friend we have in Jesus,” experienced varying levels of friendships in his earthly life. We cannot be equally close to every friend. It’s normal for friendships to ebb and flow over the course of our lives.
- Take the initiative. Jesus often approached people. Bravely striking up a conversation with strangers may lead to an eventual friendship or it might fizzle from lack of verbal fuel, but we won’t know until we try.
- Be responsive. Jesus listened to people to learn more about their situations and needs. Listening is a vital part of any healthy relationship. Asking people to talk about themselves helps people feel seen and heard.
- Need something? Even Jesus occasionally needed someone to do something for him. Prepare a place for supper. Borrow a donkey. Keep him company. Asking someone for reasonable help (directions, recommendations, a cup of sugar) lets them know they are important.
- Say “thank you” often. Send a physical thank you note through the mail or a “thinking of you” note via text or email.
- Offer something. Offer to watch a child or give a ride somewhere. Offer to do some small tasks to free up a friend’s time. Offer a new recipe you tried out or share an interesting article about something you’ve discussed.
- Pray for the people you care about. Prayer is a powerful, effective way to stay connected when you can’t be together any other way. You can also pray that God will send the friend you need, at a time when you most need them.
Kathryn Haueisen served several congregations and nonprofit organizations before retiring to focus on writing and speaking about historical events that impact life today. Follow her at kathrynhaueisen.substack.com.
This excerpted article appears in the June/July/August 2025 issue of Gather. To read more like it, subscribe to Gather.
